Tales From the Gym – Police Raid!

March 30th, 2007

Today the gym police came screaming into the sauna.

“There’s no food allowed in here!”
“And you can’t be naked either!”
“If you aren’t wearing a bathing suit, and if you’re snacking, you must leave now!”

I wonder if that last sentence has ever been uttered before in the history of the English language?

Interestingly, this all took place in the steam sauna, and we were in the midst of “the opaque season” – those moments when thick vapor pervades and you can’t even see your own foot, much less the naked snackers. The perpetrators could have simply stopped chewing and held very still… no one would have been able to find them. What are the gym police going to do – pat their hands along the benches until they find incriminating evidence? And yet, in spite of being perfectly invisible, several recidivists stood up and filed out of the sauna.

I’ve heard of people being released from jail on their own recognizance. They don’t have to pay bail because they’re neither a flight risk nor a danger to the community. But being “caught” on one’s own recognizance?

Maybe all the naked snacking was actually a cry for help…

Entry Filed under: Tales From the Gym

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