Tales From the Gym – Naked Russian Ventriloquist Mimes Invade the Sauna!!!

January 19th, 2007

Have you ever wondered what a mime would look like naked? They always have white painted faces, and white gloves; but occasionally, while miming, a sleeve slips here or a collar wilts there, and you catch a glimpse of normal human-colored skin underneath. I was happily dehydrating in the sauna today, when two naked mimes walked in. Both had white-painted faces but were otherwise quite normal looking. They reclined on benches on opposite sides of the room and began speaking Russian. Now, it’s important not to stare in the sauna, but I had to cast a few furtive glances as I was gingerly picking my way down from the top bench. They were conversing… but without moving their mouths. Really – full-bodied Russian sounds were ricocheting around the room, but nary a lip moved.

Most strange.

A skeptic might point out that ladies often like to wear clay-based deep pore cleansing masks into the sauna – makes for a great do-it-yourself facial. And I suppose if I wore a wet clay mask into a 200 degree room, I too might be baked into immobility and forced to speak without moving my lips. But who amongst us wants to invoke Occam’s Razor (which posits that the simplest explanation is likely the most accurate)? Besides, even though I can’t speak Russian, I’m pretty sure they were debating the best method for feeling one’s way out of a box.

Entry Filed under: Tales From the Gym

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