Tales From the Gym

December 6th, 2006

We joined a gym. On the good side, it’s only a half mile from our house and it has everything we could want in a gym – lots of cardio, nautilus, free weights, a pool, hot tub, sauna, steam-bath, even the occasional yoga class. On the bad side, it’s part of that evil gym empire… if you’ve ever joined, you’ll know the one I mean. Where the gym-folk are actually cold-blooded salespeople cleverly disguised as fitness enthusiasts in workout pants and ponytails. Where, upon whispering “I might like to join your establishment” you’re whisked away to a glass-enclosed office, given a “deal” which is both spectacular and just beyond your means, told that you’re welcome to deliberate to your heart’s content, but should you dare leave the office the offer will be rescinded until the end of time. The office gradually fills with smoke and mirrors as your own personal mesmerist waves his hands and performs stunning feats of mathematical sophistry.

Surviving the sales-people is daunting, but once you sign the contract they – along with the rest of the staff – ignore you, leaving you free to observe human nature in one of society’s more contrived environments. The drama, the mystery, the startling ritual known as “naked networking”…

Entry Filed under: Tales From the Gym

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