Tales from the Gym – the Things People Wear

January 21st, 2008

My gym posts regulations about appropriate gym attire all over the place, but they have yet to actually enumerate what counts as “appropriate” and what, exactly, would be its opposite.

I submit here several work-out ensembles that have recently shown up in the gym for your evaluation…

A very focused-looking girl in her early twenties wearing a full-on figure-skating costume, in vivid teal green, with a mini-skirt flounce, complete with daring faux-décolletage enabled by “invisible” flesh-colored mesh sleeves. Thick flesh-colored pantyhose disappeared into scrunch socks circa 1985, and white high-tops. Only the skates were missing.

An adorably unself-conscious older lady wearing a black ballet leotard (i.e., the non-aquatic equivalent of a one-piece swim-suit) accessorized with a cropped t-shirt, sheer black pantyhose, scrunch socks, and white tennis shoes.

A determined gentleman stationary-cyclist wearing a Speedo and spaghetti-strapped tank top.

Entry Filed under: Tales From the Gym

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