Archive for February 8th, 2007

Tales from the Gym – Sartorial Subterfuge, Day Two

In between working out and dehydrating in the sauna we are required to douse ourselves in the showers. They are, fortunately, real grown-up showers – as opposed to those mystery-less group showers of junior high and high school gyms, and (for some of us) college dormitories. Grown-up showers have a single shower head and a door for privacy; of course they have no room for drying off without soaking your towel on the dripping walls and faucets, so everyone dries off in the hallway, somewhat defeating the purpose. But I digress. I was wandering through the showers the other day, vaguely noting the towels and swim suits hanging from shower-side hooks like so many lumpy tapestries when I was startled to see hanging – in place of the requisite towel – a wig. And not just any wig. This was a thick head of false hair that would have tumbled to mid-back. The wavy tresses were a deep brown, and nestled within them were broad vertical stripes of maroon. And not a sort of merlot color that you could conceivably imagine growing out of a human scalp – I mean an unambiguous, illuminated-from-within, too-pink-to-be-purple maroon. Yesterday there was the reflection but no person to cast it. Today there’s a wig with no head to wear it. I’m sensing some deeper meaning in all of this…

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